The Devastating Ways Narcissists Handle Their Exes
Narcissists are known for their manipulative and toxic behavior, especially when it comes to dealing with their exes. The aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and damaging. Here are some of the devastating ways narcissists handle their exes.
1. Gaslighting
One of the most common tactics that narcissists use to manipulate their exes is gaslighting. Gaslighting involves making their ex doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and reality. They will twist the truth and deny any wrongdoing, making their ex feel like they are going crazy.
Through gaslighting, narcissists aim to maintain control and power over their exes. By undermining their ex’s sense of reality, the narcissist can continue to exert their influence and dominance in the relationship, even after it has ended.
Gaslighting can have serious psychological effects on the victim, causing them to question their own sanity and leading to feelings of confusion and self-doubt.
2. Hoovering
Another common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate their exes is hoovering. Hoovering involves trying to suck their ex back into the relationship by using various tactics such as love-bombing, guilt-tripping, or making empty promises.
The narcissist may reach out to their ex with messages of how much they miss them or how they have changed. This can be confusing for the ex, who may be tempted to give the narcissist another chance, only to be hurt all over again.
Hoovering is a way for the narcissist to maintain control over their ex and keep them emotionally invested in the relationship. It can be extremely damaging to the ex’s mental health and well-being.
3. Triangulation
Narcissists often use triangulation as a way to manipulate their exes and create jealousy and insecurity. Triangulation involves bringing a third party into the relationship dynamics, whether it be an ex-partner, a friend, or a new love interest.
By triangulating their ex, the narcissist can play mind games and create competition for their affection. This can make the ex feel insecure and question their own worth, as they are forced to compete for the narcissist’s attention and affection.
Triangulation is a way for the narcissist to maintain control and power over their ex, while also satisfying their need for attention and validation from multiple sources.
4. Silent Treatment
Another devastating way that narcissists handle their exes is by giving them the silent treatment. The silent treatment involves ignoring and refusing to communicate with their ex, leaving them feeling confused, hurt, and invalidated.
By withholding communication, the narcissist can maintain a sense of power and control over their ex, while also punishing them for perceived wrongdoings or for not meeting their expectations.
The silent treatment can be emotionally damaging for the ex, causing feelings of loneliness, rejection, and low self-worth. It can also leave the ex feeling desperate for any form of contact or validation from the narcissist.
5. Smear Campaigns
Narcissists often engage in smear campaigns against their exes as a way to discredit and destroy their reputation. This can involve spreading lies, rumors, and negative gossip about the ex to mutual friends, family members, or even on social media.
The narcissist may paint themselves as the victim and their ex as the villain, manipulating others to turn against the ex and further isolate them. This can be extremely damaging to the ex’s social and emotional well-being.
By engaging in smear campaigns, the narcissist can continue to exert control and power over their ex, even after the relationship has ended. It can also serve as a way for the narcissist to boost their own ego and sense of superiority.
6. Financial Exploitation
Many narcissists use financial exploitation as a way to manipulate and control their exes, especially if the ex was financially dependent on them during the relationship. The narcissist may withhold financial resources, manipulate assets, or refuse to pay alimony or child support.
This can leave the ex in a vulnerable and precarious financial situation, struggling to make ends meet and support themselves or their children. The narcissist may use money as a way to manipulate the ex and keep them tied to the relationship.
Financial exploitation can have serious consequences for the ex’s financial stability and well-being, causing feelings of stress, anxiety, and insecurity. It can also make it more difficult for the ex to move on and establish independence.
7. Love-Bombing
Love-bombing is a tactic that narcissists often use to manipulate their exes by showering them with excessive attention, affection, and gifts. This can be a way for the narcissist to regain control over their ex and reel them back into the relationship.
The narcissist may use love-bombing as a way to cover up their abusive behavior or to exploit the ex’s emotions and vulnerabilities. By bombarding the ex with expressions of love and adoration, the narcissist can create a sense of dependency and attachment.
Love-bombing can be emotionally confusing for the ex, as they may feel overwhelmed by the sudden outpouring of affection and attention. It can also make it more difficult for the ex to see the narcissist’s true intentions and manipulative behavior.
8. Blame-Shifting
Blame-shifting is a common tactic that narcissists use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and behavior. Instead of acknowledging their faults and mistakes, the narcissist will shift the blame onto their ex, making them out to be the cause of all the problems in the relationship.
By blaming their ex, the narcissist can maintain a sense of superiority and self-righteousness, while also deflecting attention away from their own toxic behavior. This can leave the ex feeling confused, guilty, and invalidated.
Blame-shifting can further erode the ex’s sense of self-worth and confidence, as they are made to feel responsible for the narcissist’s actions and shortcomings. It can be extremely damaging to the ex’s mental health and well-being.
9. Stalking
Some narcissists resort to stalking their exes as a way to maintain control and surveillance over them, even after the relationship has ended. This can involve monitoring their ex’s social media accounts, showing up unannounced at their home or workplace, or following them in public.
Stalking can be extremely intrusive and frightening for the ex, causing feelings of fear, anxiety, and paranoia. It can also violate their sense of privacy and personal space, leaving them feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Stalking is a way for the narcissist to exert power and dominance over their ex, as well as to satisfy their own need for control and validation. It can have serious legal and emotional consequences for the ex, impacting their sense of safety and security.
10. Enabling Enablers
Another devastating way that narcissists handle their exes is by enlisting enablers to support and validate their behavior. These enablers may be friends, family members, or new partners who enable the narcissist’s toxic behavior and reinforce their sense of superiority.
By surrounding themselves with enablers, the narcissist can further manipulate and control their ex, while also boosting their own ego and sense of importance. This can make it more difficult for the ex to break free from the narcissist’s influence and control.
Enabling enablers can further isolate the ex and prevent them from seeking help and support from others. It can also make it more challenging for the ex to establish boundaries and protect themselves from further emotional harm.
Conclusion
Dealing with a narcissistic ex can be emotionally draining and devastating. From gaslighting to financial exploitation, narcissists use a variety of manipulative tactics to maintain control and power over their exes. It’s important for individuals who have been in a relationship with a narcissist to seek support and establish boundaries to protect themselves from further harm. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and it’s not your fault for the toxic behavior of a narcissist.