Top 10 Narcissistic Apologies – How They Fake Remorse
Apologies are meant to be genuine expressions of regret and remorse for one’s actions. However, narcissists often use apologies as a tool to manipulate and control others. They may appear to be apologetic on the surface, but their intentions are anything but sincere. Here are the top 10 narcissistic apologies and how they fake remorse:
1. The Deflecting Apology
When confronted about their wrongdoings, narcissists will often deflect blame onto others. They may say they are sorry, but then follow it up with excuses or justifications for their behavior. This type of apology shifts the focus away from their actions and onto someone or something else.
Narcissists may say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but if you hadn’t provoked me, I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did.” This type of apology is not a true acknowledgment of wrongdoing, but rather an attempt to avoid taking responsibility.
By deflecting blame, narcissists are able to maintain their sense of superiority and control over the situation. They are not truly remorseful for their actions, but are instead seeking to protect their fragile ego.
2. The Conditional Apology
Narcissists may offer apologies that are conditional on receiving something in return. They may say they are sorry, but only if the other person agrees to forgive them or overlook their behavior. This type of apology is manipulative and insincere.
They may say something like, ”I apologize if I hurt your feelings, but can we just move on now?” This type of apology is not a genuine expression of regret, but rather a tactic to avoid facing consequences for their actions.
Narcissists view apologies as a transaction, where they can trade a superficial apology for forgiveness and continued control over the situation. Their apologies are not motivated by genuine remorse, but by a desire to maintain their power and influence.
3. The Gaslighting Apology
Gaslighting is a tactic used by narcissists to manipulate others into doubting their own reality. When giving apologies, narcissists may use gaslighting techniques to distort the truth and confuse the other person. They may deny or minimize their actions, making the other person question their own memory and perception.
They may say something like, “I don’t remember doing that, are you sure it happened that way?” This type of apology is intended to make the other person doubt themselves and feel like they are overreacting or being too sensitive.
By gaslighting during apologies, narcissists are able to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and maintain their control over the narrative. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but are instead seeking to manipulate and gaslight the other person into doubting their own reality.
4. The Pity Party Apology
When narcissists apologize, they may play the victim and turn the attention back on themselves. Instead of focusing on the harm they caused, they may make excuses for their behavior or talk about how difficult their own life has been.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry for what I did, but you have to understand how stressed I’ve been lately.” This type of apology is not a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a way for the narcissist to garner sympathy and attention.
Narcissists use pity party apologies to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them and overlooking their harmful actions. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but are instead seeking validation and reassurance from others.
5. The Over-the-Top Apology
When narcissists apologize, they may go overboard with dramatic displays of emotion or grand gestures. They may cry, scream, or make exaggerated promises to change their ways. This type of apology is not a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a performance to manipulate and control others.
They may say something like, “I can’t believe I did that to you, I’m the worst person in the world, I’ll do anything to make it right.” This type of apology is meant to draw attention and sympathy from others, rather than truly acknowledging their wrongdoing.
By using over-the-top apologies, narcissists are able to shift the focus away from their actions and onto their own emotional state. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but are instead seeking to manipulate and control others through dramatic displays of emotion.
6. The Non-Apology
One of the most common tactics narcissists use when apologizing is the non-apology. This type of apology may sound like an apology on the surface, but upon closer inspection, it is actually a deflection or justification for their actions.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I had a good reason for what I did.” This type of apology is not a genuine acknowledgment of wrongdoing, but rather an attempt to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Narcissists use non-apologies to maintain their sense of superiority and control over the situation. They are not truly remorseful for their behavior, but are instead seeking to shift blame onto others or justify their actions.
7. The Love Bombing Apology
Love bombing is a tactic used by narcissists to manipulate others by showering them with affection, praise, and attention. When offering apologies, narcissists may use love bombing as a way to distract from their harmful actions and control the narrative.
They may say something like, “I’m so sorry for what I did, you mean everything to me, I don’t know what I would do without you.” This type of apology is not a genuine expression of remorse, but rather a way to manipulate and control the other person through flattery and affection.
Narcissists use love bombing apologies to keep the other person emotionally invested in the relationship and dependent on their approval. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but are instead using affection and praise as a tool to maintain control over the other person.
8. The Justification Apology
Narcissists may offer apologies that are laced with justifications for their actions. They may say they are sorry, but then follow it up with explanations or excuses for why they behaved the way they did. This type of apology is not a genuine acknowledgment of wrongdoing, but rather an attempt to shift blame and avoid taking responsibility.
They may say something like, “I apologize for what I did, but you have to understand that I was under a lot of stress at the time.” This type of apology is not motivated by genuine remorse, but by a desire to protect their fragile ego and maintain their sense of superiority.
By justifying their actions during apologies, narcissists are able to avoid facing consequences for their behavior and continue to manipulate and control others. They are not truly sorry for their actions, but are instead seeking to maintain their power and influence over the situation.
9. The Passive-Aggressive Apology
When narcissists apologize, they may use passive-aggressive language or tone to subtly undermine the other person. They may say they are sorry, but then follow it up with sarcastic remarks or backhanded compliments. This type of apology is not a genuine expression of regret, but rather a way to belittle and control the other person.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry if what I did upset you, I guess I’m just not as perfect as you are.” This type of apology is meant to make the other person feel guilty or insecure, rather than truly acknowledging their wrongdoing.
Narcissists use passive-aggressive apologies to maintain their sense of superiority and control over the other person. They are not truly sorry for their behavior, but are instead seeking to manipulate and undermine the other person through subtle jabs and insults.
10. The Future Faking Apology
Narcissists may apologize by making promises to change their behavior in the future. They may say they are sorry, but then follow it up with grand declarations of how they will do better next time. This type of apology is not a genuine acknowledgment of wrongdoing, but rather a way to manipulate and control the other person.
They may say something like, “I’m sorry for what I did, I promise I will never do it again, I will do whatever it takes to make things right.” This type of apology is meant to give the other person false hope and assurances, rather than truly changing their behavior.
By future faking during apologies, narcissists are able to maintain their power and control over the other person. They are not truly sorry for their actions, but are instead using promises of change as a way to manipulate and manipulate the other person into staying in the relationship.
Conclusion
narcissists are adept at faking remorse through their manipulative apologies. Whether they are deflecting blame, using conditional language, gaslighting, or employing other tactics, their apologies are often insincere and self-serving. It is important to recognize these patterns of behavior and not fall for their manipulative tactics. Genuine remorse is characterized by taking responsibility, making amends, and changing harmful behavior, none of which are typically seen in narcissistic apologies.