30 Things You Should Stop Doing with a Narcissist (Before It’s Too Late)

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can feel like you’re trapped in an emotional rollercoaster. You never know when the ride will be smooth or when it’ll turn into a wild, painful descent. Narcissists are skilled at manipulation and control, often leaving you confused, drained, and doubting yourself. But here’s the catch: it doesn’t have to be this way. There are specific behaviors, things you might be doing, that only give them more power over you.

So, before you end up losing yourself completely, here’s a guide to the 30 things you must stop doing with a narcissist. These might not be easy, but trust me, they’ll save you from the emotional chaos that comes with trying to fix a broken system.

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1. Stop Apologizing When You’re Not Wrong
Narcissists thrive on making you feel guilty, even for things you didn’t do. They twist situations so it seems like you’re always in the wrong. Break free from this cycle—apologize only when you genuinely should.

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2. Stop Over-explaining Yourself
You don’t need to justify every little action, decision, or thought. Narcissists love to twist words and make you doubt your own reality. Keep things short, clear, and don’t give them ammunition to use against you.

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3. Stop Trying to Fix Them
News flash: they’re not broken. They just don’t want to change. No matter how much you try, a narcissist is unlikely to evolve because they don’t see a need to. Don’t waste your energy fixing someone who’s not interested in being fixed.

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4. Stop Giving Them the Benefit of the Doubt
Narcissists are amazing at playing the victim. They’ll make you believe they’re misunderstood, but don’t fall for it. Stop giving them chances you wouldn’t give anyone else.

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5. Stop Ignoring Your Own Needs
Narcissists have a way of making everything about them. But in doing so, they deplete you emotionally. Pay attention to your own needs, desires, and mental health. They’re just as important as theirs.

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6. Stop Believing Their Empty Promises
How many times have you heard “I’ll change” or “I’ll do better” only for them to fall short again and again? They’re not going to change. A narcissist’s promises are like a house built on sand—here today, gone tomorrow.

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7. Stop Getting Sucked Into Their Drama
Narcissists live for chaos. If they can stir the pot, they will. Don’t fall into their trap. Stay grounded and don’t get wrapped up in unnecessary drama.

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8. Stop Letting Them Manipulate Your Emotions
They are emotional manipulators, and they’ll use your empathy against you. Learn to detach from their emotional games. Your feelings matter more than their need for control.

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9. Stop Giving Them the Power to Control Your Happiness
A narcissist will drain you of your joy and feed off your frustration. They want to see you upset and unsure of yourself. Don’t give them that power. Find happiness in your own life, away from their toxicity.

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10. Stop Trying to Get Their Approval
Their validation is a moving target. You’ll never be good enough for a narcissist because they are only capable of seeing themselves as perfect. Stop seeking approval from someone who will never give it to you.

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11. Stop Sacrificing Your Boundaries
Narcissists are experts at pushing boundaries until they break. It’s time to set clear lines and stick to them. Don’t let them walk all over you. Stand up for yourself and don’t let their manipulation cross your personal limits.

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12. Stop Ignoring Red Flags
It’s easy to justify their behavior, especially if you love them. But those red flags aren’t going anywhere. They’re flashing warning signs for a reason. Trust your instincts and listen to the signals.

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13. Stop Letting Them Gaslight You
Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favorite tactic. They’ll make you question your own reality, but don’t fall for it. Stand firm in your truth and never let someone rewrite your experiences.

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14. Stop Thinking They’ll Ever Change for You
They won’t. A narcissist isn’t going to change because you love them or because you need them to. Change has to come from within, and they simply aren’t interested in it.

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15. Stop Letting Them Take the Lead in Your Relationship
Narcissists want to control everything. Stop letting them make all the decisions. Your relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship.

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16. Stop Giving Them Unlimited Access to Your Time
Narcissists love attention. The more you give them, the more they’ll take. Limit your time with them to preserve your energy and sanity.

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17. Stop Allowing Them to Disrespect You
A narcissist will disrespect you while convincing you that you deserve it. Never accept disrespect in any form. You are worthy of kindness, not cruelty.

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18. Stop Playing Into Their Victim Story
Narcissists are masters at playing the victim, even when they’re the ones causing harm. Stop buying into their sob stories. Their reality is not yours to fix.

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19. Stop Letting Them Control Your Relationships with Others
A narcissist will try to isolate you from friends, family, and anyone who might support you. Don’t let them sever your relationships. Your support network is crucial.

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20. Stop Giving Them a Platform to Attack You
The more you engage, the more they’ll attack. Stop feeding their need to tear you down. Keep your responses short, neutral, and to the point.

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21. Stop Defending Them to Others
You might find yourself explaining away their bad behavior to others, but you don’t need to. Their actions speak for themselves. You don’t have to defend someone who constantly disrespects you.

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22. Stop Trying to Please Them
A narcissist will never be satisfied with anything you do. Stop bending over backward to meet their impossible standards. It’s time to focus on your own happiness instead.

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23. Stop Making Excuses for Their Actions
We all know a narcissist can be charming when they need to be. Stop excusing their behavior because of their “charm” or “good intentions.” What they do is who they are.

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24. Stop Living in Their Fantasy World
A narcissist creates a world where everything revolves around them. It’s easy to get lost in this illusion. Wake up. The world doesn’t bend to their whims.

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25. Stop Letting Them Use Your Weaknesses Against You
They’ll always find a way to exploit your vulnerabilities. Keep your emotional defenses strong and don’t let them use your weaknesses as tools for control.

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26. Stop Thinking They’ll Love You the Way You Want
A narcissist loves only one person: themselves. Don’t wait around for love that’s one-sided. You deserve a relationship built on mutual care and respect.

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27. Stop Accepting Their Apologies
Their apologies are hollow. They’re just another way to regain control. Don’t fall for their empty words. Actions speak louder than apologies.

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28. Stop Being Their Emotional Dumpster
They’ll unload their anger and frustration onto you, but never take responsibility. Don’t let them use you as a sounding board for their negativity. You’re not their emotional punching bag.

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29. Stop Trying to Keep the Peace
Peace doesn’t exist with a narcissist. Every time you try to make peace, they’ll create chaos. Let go of this futile effort and prioritize your own peace instead.

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30. Stop Letting Them Define Your Worth
The most toxic thing you can do is let a narcissist define your value. You are enough as you are. Their opinions of you don’t determine your self-worth.

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While these steps may seem harsh, they’re necessary if you want to protect yourself from the emotional toll of a narcissistic relationship. It’s hard to break free, but it’s the first step toward reclaiming your life, your peace, and your sanity. You deserve better than manipulation and control. Let go, and you’ll find the strength to move on.