So, you’ve got this amazing squad of friends, right? You share memes, grab coffee, and laugh until your abs hurt. But lately, something’s off. It’s like there’s a shadow hanging over your friend group, and you can’t put your finger on it. Oh wait—you probably can. Enter: The narcissist.
If you’ve ever had a narcissist worm their way into your friend group, you know the drama can be contagious. They don’t just mess with your emotions—they’ll slowly start eroding your friendships, too. One minute, everyone’s tight, and the next, you’re feeling isolated, confused, and questioning your reality.
Well, it’s time to break it down. Narcissists are sneaky like that. They’ll manipulate, gaslight, and play dirty to turn your friends against you. Here’s how to spot when they’re pulling strings behind the scenes, plus how to protect yourself—and your friendships—from the emotional wreckage.
1. They Play the “Poor Me” Card to Your Friends
Narcissists know exactly how to position themselves as the victim, even when they’re the villain. They’ll tell your friends, “Oh, I’ve been hurt so badly by [your name].” Spoiler: They’re great at weaving a sad story, even if they’re the ones who caused the drama. How to stop it: Call them out with facts. Truth always wins.
2. They Start Whispering About You Behind Your Back
Narcissists love secretive conversations, especially when they can twist your actions into something they’re not. “Did you notice how [your name] always wants the attention?” they whisper. Don’t just sit there fuming—get ahead of the rumor mill. Address it with your friends head-on.
3. They Turn Every Small Thing You Do Into a “Problem”
Ever noticed how a narcissist can take the smallest mistake or offhand comment and turn it into the biggest betrayal? They’ll twist innocent things you say into “evidence” of your supposed flaws. How to stop it: Challenge their distorted view and keep reminding yourself that no one’s perfect, least of all them.
4. They Start Isolating You from The Group with Subtle Comments
At first, it’s a joke. “Oh, you don’t want to hang out with us anymore, huh?” But soon, it becomes a pattern of comments that slowly isolate you from your circle. Narcissists work like slow-motion wrecking balls. How to stop it: Fight the isolation. Plan group hangouts and keep your connection to others strong. Don’t let them make you feel like the outsider.
5. They Flatter Friends to Get On Their Good Side
Narcissists know how to butter up your friends with excessive praise—“You’re the only one who truly gets me!” The goal? To make them question why they’re still friends with you. How to stop it: Remind your friends that flattery doesn’t equal friendship. Real relationships are about honesty, not manipulation.
6. They Gaslight You About Shared Experiences
A narcissist loves to twist reality, especially when it comes to group situations. They’ll tell your friends, “Oh, I don’t remember it that way. [Your name] was the one who started it.” It’s like a live-action version of playing telephone. How to stop it: Keep a record of key conversations or events, so when they try to rewrite history, you’ve got the receipts.
7. They Claim That You’re “Too Sensitive” When You Call Them Out
Ever tried confronting a narcissist about their behavior, only to have them dismiss it by saying, “You’re just too sensitive”? It’s their way of avoiding accountability. How to stop it: Stand your ground. Explain that you’re not being sensitive—you’re just tired of being manipulated.
8. They Put You in a “Competition” with Your Friends
If you’ve noticed a narcissist turning your friends into competitors, you’re not imagining things. They want to pit you against others for their amusement. How to stop it: Don’t bite. Strengthen your friendships with genuine support, not petty rivalry.
9. They Pretend to “Rescue” You from Your Friends’ Faults
Narcissists like to position themselves as the “rescuer” when in fact, they’re the ones causing all the trouble. “Don’t listen to [your name], they don’t understand you like I do.” How to stop it: If they start playing the hero, remind your friends of the good times you’ve shared and how they’ve been there for them, too.
10. They Overreact to Minor “Injustices”
A narcissist doesn’t just get upset—they explode over things that most of us would just brush off. You didn’t like their post? The end of the world. How to stop it: Don’t indulge their theatrics. Acknowledge their feelings but don’t let them drag you into their melodrama.
11. They Play “The Best Friend” Role to Other People
Narcissists thrive on being the center of attention, and that includes your friends. They might try to get closer to your bestie to build their own little following. How to stop it: Be assertive and remind your friend of the trust and bond you share.
12. They Use Your Secrets Against You
Narcissists are experts at collecting information—and then using it against you when you least expect it. That embarrassing story you shared? Suddenly, it’s their favorite thing to talk about. How to stop it: Keep your secrets to yourself. A narcissist can only use what you give them.
13. They Plant Doubts in Your Mind About Your Friends
They won’t just target you—they’ll start whispering doubts about your other friends, too. “Do you think [Friend’s Name] has been acting weird lately?” Narcissists love to create division. How to stop it: Remind yourself and your friends that trust is key. Stand together to keep the peace.
14. They Claim Your Friends Are “Jealous” of You
The narcissist loves to play the “everyone’s jealous of me” card. If they see you getting a little extra attention, they’ll accuse your friends of being envious. How to stop it: Call them out on their baseless claims. Remind them that friendship isn’t a competition—it’s a support system.
15. They Dismiss Your Feelings as “Drama”
If you express how you feel about a situation involving them, they’ll immediately dismiss you as dramatic or over-the-top. This tactic invalidates your experiences and makes you feel crazy. How to stop it: Stick to your guns and trust that your feelings are valid. No one gets to define them but you.
16. They Ignore Boundaries—And Claim You’re Being “Difficult”
Narcissists will step all over your boundaries and then make you feel guilty for trying to maintain them. “Why are you being so difficult? We’re friends, right?” How to stop it: Enforce your boundaries firmly. The right people will respect them, and the narcissists? Well, they’ll go find another target.
17. They Turn Your Strengths Into Weaknesses
A narcissist won’t acknowledge your strengths—they’ll turn them into weaknesses to keep you in a state of self-doubt. “Oh, you think you’re so smart? You’re just showing off.” How to stop it: Don’t let them define you. Own your power and remind yourself of the amazing qualities that make you you.
18. They Don’t Acknowledge Your Achievements (But Take Credit for Theirs)
Got a new promotion? Ran a marathon? Don’t expect a narcissist to congratulate you. They’ll barely acknowledge your achievements, but if it’s their turn in the spotlight, prepare for the full-on show. How to stop it: Celebrate your wins with the people who truly appreciate you.
19. They Manipulate Group Chats to Their Advantage
You know that group chat where all your friends are supposed to be laughing and supporting each other? Narcissists love to turn that into their personal platform for manipulation. How to stop it: Keep the conversation focused on fun and positivity. And if they keep steering it sideways? Kick them out of the chat.
20. They Play the “I’m the Only One Who Understands You” Card
When a narcissist feels like they’re losing grip on you, they’ll play the “I’m the only one who understands you” card. Don’t fall for it. They’re just isolating you to control you. How to stop it: Remind yourself that real friends understand you, too—and they don’t need to gaslight you into thinking otherwise.
21. They Dismiss Your Concerns About Their Behavior
If you confront a narcissist about how they’re negatively impacting your friendships, they’ll just laugh it off or act like you’re the one with the problem. How to stop it: Be clear and direct. Set your boundaries without letting them make you question your reality.
22. They Always Turn the Tables
When you catch a narcissist doing something shady, they’ll always find a way to turn the tables and make you feel like the guilty one. “You’re the one who caused all of this.” How to stop it: Don’t buy into their blame game. Keep the focus on their actions, not their excuses.
23. They Use Emotional Blackmail
Narcissists thrive on guilt-tripping you into doing what they want. “If you were really a good friend, you’d do this for me.” Don’t fall for it. How to stop it: Recognize emotional blackmail for what it is—manipulation. Real friends don’t use guilt to get their way.
24. They Make You Second-Guess Your Instincts
A narcissist will try to make you question your own judgment. “Are you sure that’s what happened?” Trust your gut. You know when something feels off. How to stop it: Trust yourself. Your instincts are sharper than you think.
25. They Gaslight Your Entire Friend Group
Sometimes, a narcissist doesn’t stop at just one person—they’ll gaslight the whole group. Suddenly, everyone’s confused, divided, and questioning their reality. How to stop it: Stay united. A narcissist thrives on division, but they can’t break strong, authentic bonds.
Protect Your Circle, Protect Yourself
Narcissists are masters of manipulation, but they’re no match for genuine friendship. Keep your circle strong, set clear boundaries, and don’t let anyone gaslight you out of the friendships you value most. Remember, real friends lift each other up—they don’t tear each other down.